Freelance Falcon ~ Weird Jhola-Chhap thing ~ ज़हन
- Mohit Sharma (Trendy Baba / Trendster)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Unskilled Fire Extinguishers

Baba Kalia (46) is the wholesale king of FMCG (Fast Moving Consumer Goods) in Susu City. Now he is eyeing on rapidly growing Fire Extinguishers and related fire safety equipments like Hydrants, Sirens, Alarms, etc. Government granted him the license for manufacturing of Fire Extinguishers only, on a condition that if his company supplies certain amount of Fire Extinguishers to Primary Schools and Hospitals for a season then he can apply for licenses for manufacturing other fire safety equipments. His son Baby Kalia (20) is a Commerce Graduate and Baba Kalia wants his son to manage the new business.

He tried his best to Brainwash his son according to his thinking and beliefs with the help of many conversations like this.

“Business is all about making money and profits. Simple! But these ‘new ‘ kids wasting their parents money in higher education and then ruining their employers business by applying ‘Bookish cum Rubbish’ theories in practical world. That’s why I saved 2-3 years of your prime period by not sending you abroad just to get that MBA tag.”

“But, Dad, every theory is a result of several years of research done by learned Scholars, Professors, etc. World is changing and proper training and study are necessary to be in business…with so much limitations and competition.”

“That’s what I am saying implementation of theories given by professors and not by successful Businessmen. I mean in general....the world is big may be there are few Businessmen cum Professors..though, I never heard about anyone with so much time. Yes, I know couple of my Businessmen cousins who say that they did 5-10 years of research in Business and got Doctorate Degree but they are not successful businessmen. That’s the difference. You need some time to differentiate between the business of your graduation syllabus and the real business that your Papa is managing before your birth. I have decided that along with my wholesale business I will be there with you in the initial period of this Fire Extinguisher Factory Project.”

Baby Kalia was himself recruiting new managers, employees for this manufacturing unit. When his Papa Kalia..err...Baba Kalia jumped in from God-Knows-Where.

“Son, this is pure carelessness. You hired so many people with impressive Resume, with so many degrees, diplomas..but you don’t realize that you have to pay them according to their qualifications and they are nothing but...ahm!”

“Dad...”

“No..now listen to me. You must have read at least, this in your books. Cost Cutting...or minimizing cost of production. Now I will do the recruiting of workers making the material and filling the cylinders. Don’t be amused…the license is of manufacturing by scientific process but I got the license because of my contacts and money and now I want return on my investment. Manual filling of cylinders, cheap material, Gobar Gas* instead of CO2...I don’t care, I want money. You hired IIM* managers, I said nothing now I am hiring unskilled labour and I expect you to quietly observe the difference, Baby. Huh!”

After a week the “Manufacturing Unit” of Kalia and Sons started it’s production in “Baba Kalia’s way.” Baby Kalia respected his father but was unhappy by the business ‘tactics’ applied by his father in everything even on him. He was the CEO of the company but 'enjoyed' limited powers than a peon of his factory.

The Kalia and Sons Safety Equipments Limited recorded a huge profit in it’s first quarter after the commencement of production. Baba Kalia was on the moon. Now, apart from the regular teachings, tips and taunts Mr. Baby had to tolerate the fictitious stories about Baba Kalia’s super-career.

Next day, early morning a phone call by a factory employee.

“Hello, Sir, our fire extinguisher factory caught fire few minutes ago. No casualty but all the material and machines on both the floors....destroyed. Uncontrollable fire is spreading in other adjoining factories..Sir.”

Baba Kalia – What? How?

“Sir, the fire started in the Inventory Rooms where spontaneous combustion of substances and materials caused this conflagration.”

Baba Kalia – Don't give me this formal shit. There were few workers in the Night Shift for manual filling of cylinders. What were they doing?

“The fire was very fast..sir...All the workers were relaxed till they saw the fire because they thought that a Fire Extinguishing Factory and it’s material cannot catch fire.”

Baba Kalia – Foolish workers!!

"No...sir, illiterate and unskilled workers. No body knew how to operate a Fire Extinguisher. So, They threw Fire extinguishing cylinders of every size in the fire…thinking that these cylinders are ‘Fire Extinguishers themselves’, will extinguish the fire but nothing happened. With no option left they ran away. Workers are saying that they do their job perfectly it’s their owner who uses so much duplicate material, that over 3000 Kgs. of Fire extinguishers cannot handle a room’s fire."

Baby Kalia was upset yet happy that at last something (a fire) proved his father wrong and now Baba Kalia will open up to new ideas. Though, this Baba-Baby duo were in the spotlight in every form of media with this common or similar headlines "Fire Extinguisher Factory Catches Fire!" (Formally) and lots of "Ha Ha...", "LOL", "He he..." in the Newsroom and Studios (Informally).

The End!

Foot Notes -

*) Gobar Gas - In Pakistan and India biogas produced from the anaerobic digestion of manure in small-scale digestion facilities is called gobar gas.

*) IIM - The Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs), are graduate business schools in India that also conduct research and provide consultancy services in the field of management to various sectors of the Indian economy. The IIMs are considered the top business schools in India.

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